You really can talk yourself into (or out of) anything!

by Ashley Samson, PhD, CMPC
University of Kentucky Kinesiology & Health Promotion

Throughout each of our days, we have a running "conversation" going on in our heads. Sometimes we are more conscious of it ("What do I want for dinner?” “What was I supposed to get at the store?"). Other times, we are not as conscious of it.

Regardless of whether we are paying attention to those conversations, they shape our thoughts, feelings, and subsequent behaviors. This week, think about becoming more aware of those conversations in your head. Tap into what that inner voice is telling you. When is it positive? When is it negative? What triggers those self-critical thoughts? 

Once you start to pay attention to what that inner voice is telling you, you can start to change that conversation to make it more productive for you. A strategy that I’ve found very useful for athletes is the "Rule of 3 P's." You want your conversation to be Purposeful, Productive, and Possibility-focused. Here are a few examples based on a cross-country runner who I worked with:

Purposeful: Good example: "I'm coming up to a hill, so I know I'm going to need a little more mental strength there, but I'm ready for the challenge." (Instead of: "oh no, there's a hill ahead, I hate hills, this is going to suck").

The first thought gives a purpose to your self-talk, by setting yourself up to use that inner voice to get up that hill while the second example only serves to make you anxious about the hill and unfocused. 

Productive:  Good example: "I may be slow, but I know that if I pace myself I'll finish strong." (Instead of: "I'm so slow, I'm the last one in the group").

The first statement provides productive information that you can use for motivation, versus the second thought, which only makes you feel frustrated and less motivated. 

Possibility-focused:  Good example: "I've always wanted to run a half-marathon, and I bet if I work hard in training, I could achieve my goal." (Instead of: "I've always wanted to run a half-marathon, but I could never do that, it's just too hard").

The first thought is focused on the possibilities, which is exciting and motivating. It will create surges of positive emotions, while the second thought will do just the opposite and trigger surges of negative emotions like frustration and defeat. 

Be mindful of the conversations in your head, work on reframing them using the Rule of 3 P's, and see how much mentally stronger you’ll become!

Previous posts from Ashley Samson:
Your Mental Game: It’s All In Your Head!
Your Mental Game: Building Confidence!